Dentist office
by Obsessive Reader22
Summary: Stephanie was called to pick up Les at the dentist, but of course it doesn't end up being a quick pickup. Hilarity ensues but it ends well. Rated M for sexual content and language. I added a second chapter...ENJOY.
1. Chapter 1

*** This is what I thought about today when I went to the dentist. This may finally confirm that I have lost my ever loving mind. But hey…it was a great way to spend the time while I was getting my teeth done. Hope you enjoy. ***

I pulled into the parking lot, my rusted out beater Jeep scraping the curb as I slammed it into park. I got out, a chunk of my exhaust clamoring on the ground as I slammed the door shut.

"Shit." Grumbling, I kicked it further under the vehicle and strode towards the doors.

I had gotten a phone call twenty minutes ago from this office asking me to come and pick up Lester. Trenton Family Dental was a small office a couple blocks away from the mall. The building was quaint, with wood siding and a large carved out figure of a tooth holding a toothbrush standing next to the door. I stopped right before entering and ran my tongue over my teeth, and smelled my breath.

"Gah." I dug into my messenger bag and pulled out some Listerine strips. I hated the dentist. There's no real logical reason why, because I have been blessed with amazingly cavity resistant teeth. Even walking into the office, knowing that they were going to look at my teeth made me incredibly paranoid.

Popping the thin strip in my mouth and stowing the package back into my purse, I pushed into the office. The waiting room had the distinct dentist smell; clean and minty with a hit of wax. I shuddered, the smell causing a mild anxiety attack.

"May I help you?" The young woman behind the desk smiled. She was early twenties, and was wearing bright Tweety bird scrubs. Her frame was small, but she carried a little excess weight. I glanced at the name tag. Next to the cartoon version of the giant tooth holding a toothbrush was the name Elise.

"Yes." I paused, shifting my purse from one shoulder to the other. "Elise, I was called to come and pick up my friend, Lester Santos?"

"Oh yes." She chuckled, standing and rounding the corner of the desk. "I am so glad that you could make it so quickly."

"Is everything okay?" I took her lead and followed her back into the patient section. "I mean, I know I am an emergency contact, but I wasn't even aware the he had an appointment today."

"He's fine. It's just that he had a little reaction to the medication." She giggled again, and stopped in front of a door with her hand on the door knob.

"A reaction?" I pulled out my phone, preparing to dial Ranger. "Does he need to go to the hospital?"

"No." She thought for a moment. "Why don't we just take a look? I am sure that you will see what I mean." I nodded and she opened the door and entered the room.

Lester was laying on the floor in nothing but his underwear and socks. His pants were wrapped around his head in a turban like fashion. His feet were straight up in the air and poking out of the arm holes of his black t-shirt. He was singing something in Spanish and dancing with his shirted legs.

"Les?" I asked, my eyebrows shooting so high that I thought they would crawl into my pony tail.

"Beee- A- uuuuutifullll!" He sang rolling onto his stomach and getting into the downward down position. He struggled to stand, but the shirt tangled in his legs. "I'm being attacked!" He screeched flailing his legs, kicking over a small rolling table my the dental chair.

"Les, let me help." I rushed over and slipped his shirt off his legs. "Is that better?"

He stared at me through squinted eyes. A huge goofy doped up smile spread across his face.

"You are so beautiful." He said, puckering his lips and wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and pulling me towards him. I pressed, both palms against his chest, trying to keep him from kissing me. "Don't fight it, Steph. You know I will make you feel .."

I clapped my hand over his mouth.

"What the fuck is wrong with him?" I yelped over my shoulder to Elise, as I struggled to keep him from molesting me.

"Sometimes patients lose their inhibitions as they are coming out of the medication." She shrugged. "There is no way to really know ahead of time, and it doesn't always happen again."

"Les." I took my hand off of his mouth and snapped my fingers in front of his face. "I need you to get dressed. I am going to take you back to Haywood."

"Dressed?" He looked down at his boxer briefs and grinned. "Stephanie Plum, are you trying to seduce me? I didn't even feel you take off my clothes."

"Jesus…Santos, get your shit together." I unwound myself from his tentacle like grasp and took the pants off his head. "Put these on."

"Fine, but you owe me." He grumbled, struggling to put on his cargoes. He stood, wavering slightly as he bent at the waist to get a closer look at his zipper. "How the fuck do you work this thing?"

"Here." I tipped his shoulders back, slipped the black t-shirt over his head and reached down and zipped and buttoned his pants. "Where are your boots?"

"You touched it." His stammered out. "I mean, it wasn't skin to skin, but I think I came a little bit. You are fucking magic!"

"Fuck my life." I grumbled, as Elise handed me the big black leather boots from the corner. "Thanks."

Pushing Les into the dentist chair, I pulled out my phone and pressed Ranger's speed dial. I clicked it onto speaker as it rang, so that I could put on Les' boots.

"Yo."

"Do you know where I am right now?" I asked, panting with exertion as I struggled to wriggle his giant foot into the boot.

"Oh, god." Les moaned, rubbing his chest through his shirt. "It's like that night we woke up naked after Lula's margarita night. "

I heard screeching tires through the phone.

"Is that fucking Santos?" He growled. "What the fuck, Babe?"

"Seriously…shut up, Les." I grunted. The boot finally gave and I slammed into the chair my face hitting the padding of the seat between Les' legs.

"Oh yeah, Beautiful." Les ran his hand through my hair. "I have been wanting to feel that sexy mouth of yours on my cock since that time you and I were stuck in the freezer at the grocery store. Remember what we did to keep warm. "

"SANTOS I'll fucking skin you alive!" Ranger spat as more squealing tire sounds ripped through the phone.

"Ranger, this is not what it sounds like." My voice muffled by the seat. "I need some help."

"I'm almost there, Babe." He sighed. "Shoot him and I'll dispose of the body when I get there."

"Um…" Elise stammered. "Do I need to call the police?" She sounded terrified.

"No…we don't need cops." Got free of Les' hand and fell back onto my ass on the floor. "Shit, my ass. Ranger you are not going to shoot him."

The sound of tires screeching to a stop, a door slam and heavy boots running told me that Ranger was here.

"I think I'm flying." Les crooned, putting out his arms and legs. "This is the best day of my life. We should have a baby, Steph. How cute would that little guy be."

Ranger burst into the room, dental assistants running after him. He stopped, mouth open at the sight.

"Carlos!" Les squealed in delight. "Steph and I are gonna have a baby. We will name him Ranger after you. Which is weird; but whatever." Ranger growled again, his fists clenched. Les continued. " Hey, remember when we used to play in the kiddie pool at Abeula's butt ass naked? That was fun wasn't it. Well, until you got stung by a bee on your.."

"Lester." Ranger growled. Stepping forward and pulling his cousin up by his collar. "You are high as a fucking kite. So, shut the fuck up."

He slung Les over his shoulder in a fire-man's carry.

"I'm sorry ma'am for all of this." Ranger apologized to Elise. "He doesn't usually have an issue with medications."

"It's okay." She smiled, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "He was a delight. We don't get many almost naked men of his caliber in the office very often."

I giggled, picking up the other boot and sliding my phone back into my pocket.

"Please let me know if there are any damages." Ranger tipped his head in my direction. "You are coming with me, Steph. Hal will drive your Jeep back to Haywood." He smiled again at Elise and headed out of the room, and the building with Les singing softly over his shoulder. Hal motioned to us as he pulled out with my Jeep.

Ranger callously tossed Les into the back of the SUV and slammed the back hatch shut. He took a few deep breaths before turning to me, placing his hands on his hips.

"That was a very unpleasant experience, Babe." A smile hinting at the corner of his mouth.

"What?!" I screeched. "You think it was bad for YOU? I am NOT going to pick him up again. He said that I made him cum by zipping his zipper. Do you know how disturbing that is?"

"Babe." Ranger shook his head, the almost smile turning into the 100watt mega smile.

"Plus, he was almost naked when I got there. I am all for seeing sexy muscled men, and even flattered that he wanted me to suck his dick in the middle office. Plus, all that stuff he said was not what you think it was."

"Babe." His tone darkened.

"Oh, give it up, Batman." I smacked his arm and went to open the passenger door of the SUV. As I opened the door, Ranger's hand slammed it back shut. He whipped me around and pressed himself against me. His eyes were black as pitch, and his body radiated raw desire. My breath hitched as a bolt of heat rushed straight to my doodah.

"Ranger.." I stammered, licking my lips. He tilted his head slightly, kissing my neck with hot open kisses. His velvety hot tongue caressed my pulse point making a throaty moan escape my lips.

"Babe." He whispered, nipping my ear. "I have a really hard time sharing." Another hot kiss trailed down, his tongue leaving a trail of fire before he nipped at my collar bone. I shuttered again, and tipped my hips towards his. "I have an even harder time knowing that someone I know, albeit unconsciously, wants to make a baby with you."

"I'm sorry." I gasped out, unsure of exactly how to form words.

"If it weren't for those dental assistants peeking through the mini blinds I would take you right here." He purred, nipping again. "I need to make you scream my name."

"Okay." I cringed. My god, my brain was officially mush.

"Get in." He stepped away, opening the door. I slid in. He shut the door as I buckled in, running around and slipping in not even bothering to buckle before speeding out of the parking lot.

"You should probably.." I started meekly, pointing at the seat belt. He glanced down, buckling up. His hands were firmly set at ten and two as he sped, way over the speed limit, to Haywood. Within 4 minutes, we were screeching to a stop in the parking garage in front of the elevators. The SUV was angled oddly, and not even close to being in a parking spot. Ranger slammed it into park, and ripped open the door not even bothering to close it. He opened the door.

"You can't just par.." I started.

"Out." His voice urgent. I shook my head and unbuckled my seat belt.

"You really need to work on your people skills." I grumbled, hitching my bag higher on my shoulder.

The elevator dinged and Cal stepped out.

"Everything okay, Boss?" Ranger pointed at the SUV and pulled me into the elevator; pressing 7. I watched Cal's dumbfounded expression as the elevator doors closed.

"You are kinda freaking me out, Ranger." I whispered, my arms crossed tightly against my chest.

He turned slowly, tipping his head to one side, a devious smirk crossing his face. He licked his lips as he pulled out his FOB, pointed it at the camera and pressed the button. The moment the small red light turned off he was in front of me.

"You know that I love you." He said, taking my cheek in his hand. I nodded dumbly. "And I know that you love me." Another nod. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes-s." I stuttered as his hand slipped up under my shirt and undid my bra.

"You know how we talked about Someday?" He kissed me and slipped my bag off of my shoulder.

"Uh huh." He pushed the shirt, along with the unclasped bra, over my head and onto the floor. I moaned softly as he reached out and cupped one of my breasts, rolling the nipple between his thumb and finger.

"And you remember how I told you that the Batcave was forever?" He licked the side of my neck, removing his hands from my breasts. He pulled me to him, his hand splayed on my back as the other reached down and unbuttoned my jeans.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I nodded instead. His hand slipped into my pants cupping my sex.

"Fuck, Babe." He groaned, slipping past my panties and caressing me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. Searing heat rushing through my body. We broke our kiss. Ranger slipped off his shirt as I kicked off my shoes. He quickly slid my jeans down and tossed them aside as the elevator dinged. He picked me up, wrapping my legs around him.

Once again locked in passionate kisses, he stumbled out of the elevator. I gasped as my back hit the cold metal door of his apartment.

"Babe. I need you now." He growled, pressing himself against me. I reached down between us and undid his belt. The need to have him inside of me was so overwhelming. A deep moan slipped out between our kisses as I wrapped my hand around him. He reached down, trying to reach into his pocket for his keys. "Fuck." He growled as they slipped out of his hand and onto the floor.

"Just fuck me." I whimpered grinding myself against him before unzipping his pants and releasing him. He moaned again.

"Babe." He ripped the panties off of me, sending them in tattered ribbons behind him. He pulled away from our kiss to look into my eyes. He smiled as he slid into me. I moaned, feeling like an instant orgasm as he filled me. My cries of pleasure echoed off the hallway, matched only by the rhythmic thuds as he thrust into me and against the door. I hung to him desperately, as wave after wave hit me sending me into almost a delirious state.

"Fuck." He ground out, picking up his pace. My body began shuddering with pleasure as I could feel the most intense orgasm I've ever had.

"Carlos." I cried out as my vision wavered and lights burst behind my eyelids. My fingernails dug into the flesh of his strong shoulders, which were covered with a fine sheen of sweat.

"Dios Mio. Te amo, Stephanie. Te amo." Ranger ground out as his release followed shortly after.

Panting we stayed still, waiting for our hearts to slow and our breaths to catch. That is when the realization hit me.

"Oh shit." I curled up into Ranger's chest, trying to cover myself. "You didn't use the FOB, did you?"

Ranger stilled, a look of mortification crossing his face. He swallowed and shook his head.

"I'm so sorry, Babe." He whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. "I should have had better control."

He looked down at the keys that had fallen out of his pocket. "Hold on, Babe." He reached down, tipping me precariously as he picked up the keys and unlocked the door. Without missing a beat he slammed the door shut and headed towards the bathroom.

He set me on the sink and put my face in his hands.

"Jesus, Steph, I can't believe I did that." His eyes were no longer black, but a deep brown. His face was soft and filled with great and maybe even some fear. "I'm sorry. I just.."

"Carlos." I pressed a finger to his lips and smiled. "It's okay. I distinctly remember telling you to fuck me."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Yeah you did."

"So." I slid my hand down and wrapped my hand around him again, stroking him slowly. "Since I am naked, and you are almost there. Why don't you strip and fuck me again in that amazing shower of yours."

Without missing a beat he pulled off his boots and socks, only tripping slightly. I slipped off the counter and started the water and watched as he slowly pushed his pants off.

"As you wish, Babe." He picked me up and walked into the shower. Pressing my back against the wall, he kissed me. "As you wish."

**okay..I feel better. Review..review…review. **


	2. Chapter 2

After a couple of requests to see what the Merry Men happened to see their little rendezvous I decided to post this chapter. It's just a short chapter. Hopefully you like it. Review please!

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Cal's POV

Ranger's attitude worried the shit out of me as I watched him drag Bomber into the elevator and point to the SUV. Looking the in back I found Lester, curled up in a ball sucking his thumb.

"Ah fuck." I growled up, pulling out my phone and calling Tank.

"Go." Tank's baritone voice echoed.

"Tank, Ranger's fucking pissed. He is in the elevator with Bomber and I'm worried. She looked terrified as he dragged her in there." I turned to Les. "I'm headed up. Les is in the back of the SUV and looks fucked up."

"Shit." Tank growled out. I dashed up the stairs, phone still in hand. "I'm pulling it up now. Damnit, he scrambled it."

"Give me a sec, I can override it." I hung up my phone and shoved it into my pocket as I burst through the door to the fifth floor and without slowing pushed my way into Tank's office. He pushed back from his desk and gave me access to his computer. Clicking away to reboot the system, Tank and I waited for what seemed like an eternity. It was only going to show on Tank's monitor, just in case. "You don't think he would actually hurt you do you?"

"I don't think so, but.." Tank's voice cut off abruptly as the surveillance camera flickered back to life. "Holy shit."

"That is not what I was expecting to see." I chuckled, relief washing over me. I tilted my head and peered closer. "That's fucking hot."

Tank and I watched, completely in a daze as Ranger stripped Bomber of her shirt and bra. We had seen them have make out sessions, but this was a whole new level. Ranger had always been the embodiment of control. My cargoes seemed tighter than normal as they ravaged themselves in the elevator.

"We probably shouldn't be watching this." Tank stuttered out, eyes glued to the screen.

"Probably not." I muttered, biting my lip as he ripped off her jeans. A little happy that he didn't stop the live feed. As the elevator door opened on the screen, Tank and I were so wrapped up in the intense scene that we barely heard the shout from the floor.

"Jesus Fucking Christ!" Ram hollered his voice echoing off the sparse walls in the communication's room. Tank and I, realizing at the same moment that Ranger hadn't used his FOB, scrambled onto the floor. In our haste, we managed to reach his office door at the same time, causing us to trip over one another and land in a pile. Desk chairs scraped along the concrete flooring to see what was going on.

"Ram!" Tank shouted, untangling himself from me and stumbling towards the monitors. "Turn off the fucking monitor."

Ram couldn't. His eyes were transfixed, and his mouth hung open. His hands held a death grip on the controls causing his knuckles to whiten. As we sidled up to him, we could hear the sounds coming from his headphones. I could see why. Ranger, shirtless and his pants drooping slightly, was taking Bomber against the door of his apartment. The moans and sound of Bomber's body thumping against the door floating from Ram's headphones were like the song of a siren.

"I….I….I…." Ram mumbled over and over again as he Tank and I watched. Even after they had finished, an out of breath Ranger still holding an even more breathless Bomber against the door, we continued to stare. We had all heard what he had told her.

"It's about fucking time." Tank smiled, and shook his head. "Ram, send a copy of that to me and then delete the file. He finally told her he loved her, and while it's sick how we got to hear it; I'm not going to let him forget it."

Tank walked away as they stumbled into Ranger's apartment and closed the door. Ram ran a hand down his face and looked up at me, an expression of 'what the fuck' and 'holy shit that was hot' across his face.

"Sometimes I think this job needs hazard duty pay." He let out a heavy breath and shook his head. "The perks are fucking fantastic, but damn…I'm stuck with wood for the next hour."

I laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. "I'm sure you will be fine."

I waved Junior over to me and we headed down the stairs to fetch Lester out of the SUV.

"What the fuck was that?" Junior asked as we pushed through the garage door from the stairwell.

"Just Ranger finally pulling his head out of his ass." I grinned and began pulling Lester out of the back. "It was fucking beautiful."

"It's about damn time." Junior slammed the back of the SUV shut and re-positioned his grip on Lester's legs. He pushed the elevator button with his elbow and we waited for it to open up. As it opened, we stared. There, on the floor of the elevator, were Ranger and Bomber's discarded clothing, and her purse. "Wait…"

"Let's pitch Les out to Bobby." I laughed, gently kicking the clothing out of the way. "I'll pick this up."

"I miss all the good shit." He pouted, looking at the clothing longingly.

"Wha?" Les' eyes opened slightly. "Hey buddy!" He smiled looking up at me. "Where we goin'?"

"To Bobby."

"Hey..guess what?" Les slurred out, a huge grin on his face. "Beautiful and I are gonna have a baby."

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "A baby? Does Ranger know?"

"Oh yeah." His voice was muffled as he curled his chin into his chest. "Carlos was happy. 'Specilly when I toldz him we were namin' the baby after hims."

"That sounds great." Junior chuckled as we exited the elevator, tossing him on Bobby's gurney and walking out.

"What the fuck?" Bobby exclaimed as we headed back to the elevator. "You can't just drop him off like that. What the fuck is wrong with him?"

"No clue." I told him as I pressed the fifth floor button, picking up Bomber's bra. "But you might want to keep Ranger away."

"Beautiful n' I are havin' a babeeeee." Les sang. I laughed as Bobby's face drained of color.

I pulled the rest of the clothes up off the floor and slung the purse on my shoulder as the doors opened again at the 5th floor. Junior got out, and I pressed the button for the seventh floor. As the doors opened, a pair of shredding panties lay in the middle of the hallway. I picked them up and put them with the rest of the clothes, my shoulders shaking with laughter.

Taking a deep breath and calming myself I pressed my ear against Ranger's apartment door. Usually, this was not something that I would ever do. Considering he would probably murder me, or ship me off to a third world country, but the last thing I needed was to walk in on what I witnessed. After a moment, I heard the shower turn on. Sending a quick prayer that they were in the shower together, I slowly opened the door.

Immediately my ears were assaulted with Bomber's moans and the deep rumble of Ranger speaking in Spanish. Quickly, I put the stuff on the kitchen counter and high-tailed it out trying to make as little sound as possible. Finally in the safety of the hallway I took a deep breath and wiped my hand over my face. The elevator was still open, thankfully, and I rode it back to the fifth floor.

"It's about fucking time.." I chuckled a huge smile across my face. Cracking my knuckles, I strode out of the elevator and continued to my desk. "It's about fucking time…"

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I hope that this added a good ending to the first chapter. As always...thanks for reading. :)


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